The following is a guide to help you determine if your mate is cheating on you. After reading this list you may find there is some area of concern. Do not confront the cheater because this will only cause them to clean up their act, become more careful not to get caught, and make it more difficult for you to catch them. You may not have enough proof to make your case. I would urge you to seek professional help.

1. At the beginning of an affair the mate that is cheating is more attentive to his/her spouse. This is due to guilt that the cheater may be feeling at the time.

2. After the affair has been going on for a while, the person cheating seems to find fault with the person he/she may be living with to try to justify the affair in their mind. They may become physically or verbally abusive. Saying things such as: “You never do anything right”, “You can’t make me happy any more”, “I don’t know why I’m still with you”, “Why don’t you leave”, “You’re getting fat”, “What’s this you’ve cooked for me, it’s horrible”, “You haven’t done anything all day, what are you good for”, “I love you, I’m just not in-love with you any more”, “You can’t give me what I want any more”, “I need some time to myself”, “I don’t care about you any more”, “You are hopeless”, “I hate you”. All of these quotes does not mean that your spouse/partner is having an affair, please use this as a guide only. Intuition (gut feeling) that something is not right usually is a sign you may have a cheating problem.

3. Cheating spouses/partners may lose interest in the activities in the home. They don’t show interest in the livelihood of you or the children that live in the home. Sometimes they no longer have any desires to do any fix-ups to the home (i.e. lawn care, house repairs, etc.).

4. Cheaters my have a change in sex life (i.e. more sex, less sex) as well as unexplained sexual requests. If you have never watched pornographic material before and now all of a sudden you are asked to perform what is on the tape, this may be a sign that your spouse/partner is engaging in this type of activities with someone else.

5. The cheater has a definite change in attitude towards everyone in the home, especially the mate (i.e. “if he/she did not act the way they do, well then maybe I would not do the things I do”). You may start to get blamed for things more often.

6. The finances begin to change. If someone wants to play they have to pay! Keep an eye on the cheater’s spending habits ( i.e. check book records, bank account balances, credit card bills, etc.). This will tell you whether their spending more money than usual. Or in some cases, extra money may appear for the female cheater.

7. Grooming habits will change. They may start to wear cologne/perfume or a different fragrance, get haircuts/hairdos more frequently, or start to dress differently by purchasing more revealing/youthful/designer clothing other than their normal style of fashions. Normally, if your spouse/partner has nothing to hide, they will share their purchases with you and explain what a “great deal” they got on those items!

BONUS: The cheater may purchase a sports car without discussing it with you, attend the night clubs more frequently, stay in the bathroom longer (he/she may be texting), hiding their cell phone, answering the home phone more frequently than usual especially on the first ring.

When In Doubt, Check It Out!