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6 Things NOT to Do After Catching a Cheating Spouse

When your suspicions have been confirmed and you have proof that your spouse is cheating on you, it can feel like your entire world has been turned upside down. While it’s completely normal to feel a variety of conflicting emotions including rage, sadness, depression, fear, and anxiety, it’s important not to let these feelings get the better of you, as it could come back to haunt you when you are involved in things like divorce proceedings and custody battles. How you choose to handle this devastating information can make or break any future court settlements and cost you greatly if you react poorly. Here are six things you should never do when you catch your spouse in the act.


Never Involve Your Kids– Sure, cheating on your spouse is one of the most despicable things a person can do, but this doesn’t necessarily mean your cheating husband or wife isn’t a good parent. You must absolutely refrain from saying or doing anything that can cause your children to become involved or take sides as the situation unfolds. After all, your kids love both of their parents- anything you say against your spouse will hurt them too! Make sure to leave the kids out of it, and only discuss the affair when you are sure they are nowhere within earshot.


Never Make Friends Choose Sides– When your friends find out that your spouse has cheated on you, odds are they will form their own opinions or will prefer to stay entirely out of the ensuing drama. Don’t make your friends pick which one of you they support during all of this. Not only can it create a world of awkwardness for them, but it can also cost you friends in the long run if they resent having you make them a part of your personal business.


Never Get Violent– Nothing can make you see red like the evidence of your spouse’s extramarital affair, but before doing anything in the heat of the moment, you must take a second to pause and consider the consequences of anything you are about to do. After all, committing a violent act such as assault, battery, or anything involving a weapon can result in some serious consequences, including jail time, loss of custody of your children, and other potentially life-ruining scenarios. You have every right to be angry, but becoming violent is never the answer.


Never Fall Apart- When you’ve just found out that your spouse has been cheating on you, it can seem like everything you know is wrong. It’s easy to feel like life is not worth living, but don’t fall into that trap! Remind yourself that you are a strong, intelligent individual with a lot of things going for you, and resolve not to let this discovery break you. It is more important now than ever to stay strong and keep yourself together so you can recover from this blow.


Never Confront the Other Woman (or Other Man)- It is completely natural to want to see for yourself what this other person has that you don’t, that would make your spouse be unfaithful to you. But before you hop into the car to track down this person at their home or office, remember two things: nothing but bad things can come of a confrontation fueled by anger, and this person may not even know you exist! Confronting the person your spouse has been cheating with can feel cathartic at the time, but in the long run, it can lead to violence, grave consequences and an overall black mark on your case when you are trying to reach a peaceable and equitable divorce settlement. Also, it’s entirely possible that this person doesn’t even realize your spouse is married, and may not be the slightest bit aware that he or she is helping cause your marriage to fall apart. Either way, it is best to go on living without confronting this individual.


Never Blame Yourself- People can be quick to take inventory of their own physical or emotional shortcomings when confronted with evidence of a cheating spouse, and often try to determine what caused their husband or wife to break their vows. This solves nothing and can only lead to low self-esteem, depression, and sadness. The truth is, there is not always a concrete reason for a spouse to cheat- these things happen all the time, and the spouse who has been cheated on is rarely to blame. Don’t bring yourself down- you need all the confidence you can get at this time in your life!


If you suspect that your spouse may be involved in an extramarital affair, JP Investigations can help you get the proof you need. Our Raleigh, NC office is staffed by a team of experienced investigative professionals who can conduct a thorough investigation and provide you with court-admissible evidence supporting their findings. Don’t go through the agony of uncertainty- find out for sure with the team at JP Investigations. Call our Raleigh office today at 877-990-2111 to schedule your initial no-cost consultation.

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